10 : 20 : 30 : 40 REM"PROGRAM BY RUSHDEN ROY 50 REM"A 'L PLATE' PROGRAMMER! 60 : 70 : 80 : 90 : 100 ON ERROR GOTO 1560 110 CLS 120 *FX210,0 130 MODE7 140 PROCroy 150 PROCinst 160 PROCphonedown 170 PROCname 180 PROCphoneup 190 END 200 DEFPROCinst 210 *FX15,0 220 VDU23,1,1;0;0;0; 230 CLS 240 PRINT"pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp" 250 PRINTTAB(0,2)CHR$(134)CHR$(141)"Would you please type your name." 260 PRINTTAB(0,3)CHR$(134)CHR$(141)"Would you please type your name." 270 PRINTTAB(0,5)CHR$(134)"Type MR,MRS or MISS, then " 280 PRINTTAB(0,7)CHR$(134)"Now your first name " 290 PRINTTAB(0,9)CHR$(134)"Now your surname " 300 PRINTTAB(0,11)"pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp" 310 INPUTTAB(0,6)" Title?.."titlem$ 320 INPUTTAB(0,8)" First?..."first$ 330 INPUTTAB(0,10)" Surname?.."second$ 340 VDU23,1,0;0;0;0; 350 PRINTTAB(0,12)CHR$(134)"Would you like thesoundon? YorN" 360 REPEAT:BB$=GET$:UNTILBB$="N"ORBB$="n"ORBB$="Y"ORBB$="y":IFBB$="N"ORBB$="n"THEN*FX210,1 370 PRINTTAB(0,13)CHR$(134)"If you have made any mistakes would you like tore-typeit? YorN" 380 REPEAT:ss$=GET$:UNTILss$="N"ORss$="n"ORss$="Y"ORss$="y":IFss$="Y"ORss$="y":GOTO200 390 PRINT"pppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp" 400 PRINT'"THE PHONE IS RINGING "first$ 410 PRINT'" I BET IT'S FOR YOU" 420 PRINT''TAB(7)CHR$129+CHR$157+CHR$131" PRESS SPACE BAR "CHR$156+CHR$13 430 REPEAT:UNTILGET$=" " 440 ENDPROC 450 DEFPROCname 460 CLS 470 randname=RND(3) 480 IFrandname=1THENPRINTTAB(1,2)CHR$(131)titlem$" "first$" "second$"....?" 490 IFrandname=2THENPRINTTAB(1,2)CHR$(131)titlem$" "second$"....?" 500 IFrandname=3THENPRINTTAB(1,2)CHR$(131)first$" "second$"....?" 510 randother=RND(6) 520 IFrandother=1THENPRINTTAB(1,1)CHR$(131)"HELLO...IS THAT" 530 IFrandother=2THENPRINTTAB(1,1)CHR$(131)"WOULD THAT BE" 540 IFrandother=4THENPRINTTAB(1,1)CHR$(131)"HELLO THERE...WOULD THAT BE" 550 IFrandother=3THENPRINTTAB(1,1)CHR$(131)"HI! THERE... IS THAT" 560 IFrandother=5THENPRINTTAB(1,1)CHR$(131)"ERR.." 570 IFrandother=6THENPRINTTAB(1,1)CHR$(131)"IS THAT" 580 RESTORE 590 FORZ=1TORND(29):REM"IF YOU ADD EXTRA DATA THEN INCREASE NUMBER 600 READA$ 610 NEXTZ 620 PRINTTAB(0,4)A$ 630 PROCphoneup 640 REPEAT:UNTILGET$=" ":PROCphonedown 650 ENDPROC 660 : 670 : 680 END 690 PRINT''' 700 DEFPROCphonedown 710 CLS 720 PRINTTAB(20,2)" " 730 PRINTTAB(18,3)" " 740 PRINTTAB(18,4)"" 750 PRINTTAB(18,5)" " 760 PRINTTAB(18,6)"" 770 PRINTTAB(20,6)CHR$(134)first$"'S" 780 PRINTTAB(35,6)" " 790 PRINTTAB(18,7)"Home " 800 PRINT" B Sweet 椕 " 810 PRINT" R B Homeh " 820 PRINT" U R ::::.....* " 830 PRINT" R U " 840 PRINT" R R" 850 PRINT" R" 860 REMPRINT" R" 870 PRINT" " 880 PRINT" " 890 PRINT"d" 900 PRINT"1:2:3 5" 910 PRINT" 4:5:6 f will pull" 920 PRINT" 7:8:9 9the phone plug out!" 930 PRINT" 0:#:* f" 940 PRINT" 9" 950 PRINT" o?`! " 960 PRINT" ,, ,, " 970 PROCbooks 980 PROCbrurr 990 ENDPROC 1000 DEFPROCbrurr 1010 FORrings=1TO2 1020 FORR=1TO4 1030 SOUND1,-15,200,1 1040 SOUND1,-15,180,1 1050 NEXTR 1060 SOUND1,-15,180,1 1070 FORR=1TO4 1080 SOUND1,-15,200,1 1090 SOUND1,-15,180,1 1100 NEXTR 1110 SOUND1,0,0,30 1120 TIME=0:NEXTrings:REPEAT 1130 UNTILTIME=5 1140 ENDPROC 1150 DEFPROCphoneup 1160 PRINTTAB(15,9)": :" 1170 PRINT" : :" 1180 PRINT" :::" 1190 PRINT" for" 1200 PRINT" phone down." 1210 PRINT" " 1220 PRINT" 0 _ " 1230 PRINT" " 1240 PRINT"1:2:3 will" 1250 PRINT" 4:5:6 pull the" 1260 PRINT" 7:8:9 888- plug out!" 1270 PRINT" 0:#:* f " 1280 PRINT" 9" 1290 PRINT" &" 1300 PRINT" ,, ,, " 1310 PROCbooks 1320 REPEAT:UNTILGET$=" ":GOTO 160 1330 ENDPROC 1340 DEF PROCbooks 1350 Y$=CHR$131+CHR$157+CHR$132+"YELLOW PAGES -< "+CHR$156 1360 PRINT TAB(17,22)Y$ 1370 P$=CHR$132+CHR$157+CHR$135+"The phone book BT"+CHR$156 1380 PRINTTAB(16,23)P$ 1390 ENDPROC 1400 DEFPROCroy 1410 PRINT'' 1420 VDU23,1,0;0;0;0; 1430 PRINT"7`+47``57k`5 ````` PROGRAM BY ````````" 1440 PRINT"5b(55( 5m h%7`+4757`k 7k`57`k 7e757`k" 1450 PRINT"uzp5upp5jpz 5( 5555js05 n15bs550!5u0`5" 1460 PRINT"ppppppppppp upp5u5upp5uzp5upp5u7t5upp5" 1470 PRINT'"For '8-Bit Software' 1 Oakwood Drive," 1480 PRINT" Heaton, BOLTON BL1 5EE" 1490 PRINT''CHR$(141)"A collection of quotes, one liners" 1500 PRINTCHR$(141)"A collection of quotes, one liners" 1510 PRINT'CHR$(141)" and Christmas cracker jokes." 1520 PRINTCHR$(141)" and Christmas cracker jokes." 1530 PRINT''TAB(8,20)CHR$129+CHR$157+CHR$131" PRESS SPACE BAR "CHR$156+CHR$13 1540 REPEAT:UNTIL GET$=" " 1550 ENDPROC 1560 IFERR=17THENCLS:PRINTTAB(3,2)"THE PHONE PLUG HAS BEEN REMOVED" 1570 PRINT'" " 1580 PRINT" " 1590 PRINT" " 1600 PRINT" " 1610 PRINT" " 1620 PRINT 1630 PRINT" " 1640 PRINT" " 1650 PRINT" " 1660 PRINT" " 1670 PRINTTAB(1,20)" PRESS ANY KEY TO PUT IT BACK IN":G=GET:RUN 1680 END 1690 DATA This is your Genealogist... With the `500 you gave me to trace your family tree it is now complete. I think you should now pay me another `500 to hush it up! 1700 DATA Your accountant here... do you think that you can get your family to live below their YERNINGS? 1710 DATA This is your accountant....... I'm still working on your books telling your moneywhere to go.......instead of wondering where it went! 1720 DATA Bloggs your bank manager speaking...The secret of financial success is to spend what you have left after saving...... instead of saving what you have left after spending. 1730 DATA This is your accountant...... I find that a successful person is one who can earn more than their family can spend! 1740 DATA This is your bank manager.... It used to be that a fool and his money were soon parted..But now it happens to everybody. 1750 DATA This is your insurance adviser... Get themost out of your life insurance policy.. DROP DEAD! 1760 DATA This is your local tax office..... Just to let you know that we have what it takes... to take what you've got!! 1770 DATA Your local tax office here...... Wouldyou please come to the tax office... We would like you to meet who you work for! 1780 DATA This is Roy Dickens .... I wrote this program. If you can alter programs then add or change the DATA if you wish but please keep it clean! 1790 DATA Bank manager here.... It looks as though your money doesn't talk any more.It goeswithout saying! 1800 DATA Postmaster here..... your enquiry aboutyour envelopes that have on them 'DATA DISCS DO NOT BEND'. The postmen said they do! 1810 DATA The Salvation Army speaking... about yourrequest......Yes we do save fallen souls....but no we can't save one for you for Saturday night! 1820 DATA This is Mr Shrinc the psychiatrist..... Reference your request about helping you with your memory lapses. I will be able to help you but you had better pay in advance. 1830 DATA This is Won Ung Lo ..... about a table bookingSo sorry only do take away we not like if people die on premises. 1840 DATA Its your next door neighbour!!... Can you turn your radio down? I thought it was mine until I went to turn it off!! 1850 DATA Your tax office here..... We have tried to make the tax form more simple....justtwo sections. One:-How much do you earn?Two:- Send it!! 1860 DATA Good news..we are taking a third off ournormal fifty percent off prices with a Xmas ten percent discount and especiallyfor you another twenty percent off wouldyou like double glazing??? Pleeasssse! 1870 DATA Electric appliance repair centre here...I am sorry about the tragic death of your budgie but I'm pleased to let you know that we will be able to repair yourvacuum cleaner. 1880 DATA This is paddy and not very happy.... about those water skis you sold me. I can't find any lakes with slopes! 1890 DATA This is Twup and Wodarn estate agents...Your enquiry about a house it looks as though we have two types of house...the ones you don't want and the ones you can't afford! 1900 DATA Your bank manager speaking.... Your money certainly talks...It's said Goodbye!! 1910 DATA Local council here....Sorry about the mistake in your bills. It's the computeryou know. Just think only ten years ago it would have taken twenty office staff two years to make that mistake!! 1920 DATA Limprist Hairstyles darling...You asked if I could make your hair look good... Dearyme I have a comb not a magic wand but as I need your head for my business pop in and I'll do it while you wait! 1930 DATA Ah! Good it is you .....now I've some thing to tell you..I never repeat gossip...so listen carefully the first time... 1940 DATA It's your wise old uncle....Dont forget enjoy yourself NOW because these are thegoodol'days you are going to miss later.Its true because I know more about beingyoung than you do about being old! 1950 DATA It's Mr Noital..Even people who say theynever make mistakes buy pencils with rubbers on.To err is only human but whenyou wear out the rubber before you've used up the pencil you're over doing it 1960 DATA Schmellie Shoe Shops here....You asked about some jogging shoes that are good value. We have some that are guaranteed to give you a good run for your money. 1970 DATA Hear..did you know?....That computer operator has just married his assistant.They are now hoping to multiply the old fashion way!! 1980 REM"DATA PUT YOUR WITTICISMS HERE 1990 REM"DATA AND HERE(check line 590) 2000 REM"DATA (about five lines)