10 REM *****************************
   20 REM    WOMEN : a guide to their
   30 REM    composition and handling
   40 REM         Author Unknown
   50 REM Sent in by K3B Paul Matthews
   60 REM With apologies to the unknown
   70 REM Author if this is Copyrighted
   80 REM *****************************
   90 :
  100 MODE7
  110 VDU23,1,0;0;0;0;
  120 PROCtitle
  130 A$=GET$:IF A$="Y" OR A$="y" THEN PROCprintout ELSE CLS:FORI%=10TO11:PRINTTAB(0,I%)CHR$141"�CAN YOU READ 80 COLUMN TEXT? Y/N":NEXT:A$=GET$:IFA$="Y"ORA$="y"THENMODE3:VDU14:VDU19,2,0,0,0,0,19,0,1,0,0,0,:PROCtext ELSE CLS:VDU14:PROCtext
  140 END
  150 :
  160 DEFPROCtitle
  170 FORI%=5TO6:PRINTTAB(14,I%)CHR$129CHR$136CHR$141"WOMAN":NEXT
  180 FORI%=10TO11:PRINTTAB(5,I%)CHR$133CHR$141"a guide to her composition":NEXT
  190 FORI%=13TO14:PRINTTAB(10,I%)CHR$133CHR$141"and her handling.":NEXT
  200 FORI%=16TO17:PRINTTAB(11,I%)CHR$134CHR$141"Author Unknown":NEXT
  210 FORA=1TO5000:NEXT:CLS
  220 FORI%=5TO6:PRINTTAB(2,I%)CHR$134CHR$141"DO YOU WANT A PRINTED COPY?�  Y/N":NEXT
  230 ENDPROC
  240 A$=GET$:IF A$="Y" OR A$="y" THEN PROCprintout  ELSE VDU22,3:VDU23,1,0;0;0;0;:VDU14:VDU19,2,0,0,0,0,19,0,1,0,0,0,:PROCtext
  250 :
  260 DEFPROCprintout
  270 CLS
  280 FORI%=5TO6:PRINTTAB(7,I%)CHR$133CHR$141"SWITCH ON YOUR PRINTER":NEXT:FORA=1TO3000:NEXT
  290 FORI%=8TO9:PRINTTAB(11,I%)CHR$133CHR$141"LOAD YOUR PAPER":NEXT:FORA=1TO3000:NEXT
  300 FORI%=11TO12:PRINTTAB(3,I%)CHR$133CHR$141"THEN PRESS THE SPACE BAR TO PRINT":NEXT:FORA=1TO3000:NEXT
  310 REPEATUNTILGET=32
  320 VDU2
  330 VDU21
  340 PROCtext
  350 VDU6
  360 CLS:FORI%=8TO9:PRINTTAB(11,I%)CHR$133CHR$141"PRINTOUT IN PROGRESS":NEXT
  370 VDU3
  380 ENDPROC
  390 :
  400 DEFPROCtext
  410 VDU1,27,1,14:PRINT"HAZARDOUS MATERIALS INFORMATION BULLETIN"'
  420 VDU1,27,1,14:PRINT"      MATERIAL SAFETY DATA SHEET"'
  430 VDU1,27,1,14:PRINT"    'WOMAN' - A CHEMICAL ANALYSIS"'
  440 VDU1,27,1,87,1,0
  450 PRINT"Element:      Woman"
  460 PRINT"Symbol:       Wo"
  470 PRINT"Discoverer:   Adam"
  480 PRINT"Atomic Mass:  Accepted as 53.6kg but variable from 40kg to 200kg"
  490 PRINT"Occurrence:   Copious quantities in all urban areas"''
  500 VDU1,27,1,14:PRINT"PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:"'
  510 PRINT"1.  Surface usually covered with painted film."
  520 PRINT"2.  Boils at nothing, freezes without any known reason."
  530 PRINT"3.  Melts if given special treatment."
  540 PRINT"4.  Bitter if incorrectly used."
  550 PRINT"5.  Found in various states from Virgin metal to Common ore."
  560 PRINT"6.  Yields to pressure applied to correct places."''
  570 VDU1,27,1,14:PRINT"CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:"'
  580 PRINT"1.  Has a great affinity for gold, silver, and a range of precious stones."
  590 PRINT"2.  Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances."
  600 PRINT"3.  May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no known reason."
  610 PRINT"4.  Insoluble in liquids, but activity increased by saturation in alcohol."
  620 PRINT"5.  Most powerful money reducing agent known to man."''
  630 VDU1,27,1,14:PRINT"COMMON USES:"'
  640 PRINT"1.  Highly ornamental, especialy in a sports car."
  650 PRINT"2.  Can be a great aid to relaxation."
  660 PRINT"3.  Very effective cleaning agent."''
  670 VDU1,27,1,14:PRINT"TESTS:"'
  680 PRINT"1.  Pure specimens turn a rosy pink when discovered in the natural state."
  690 PRINT"2.  Turns green when placed beside a better specimen."''
  700 VDU1,27,1,14:PRINT"POTENTIAL HAZARDS:"'
  710 PRINT"1.  Highly dangerous except in experienced hands."
  720 PRINT"2.  Illegal to possess more than one, although several can be maintained at":PRINT"    different locations as long as specimens do not come into direct contact":PRINT"    with each other."'''
  730 ENDPROC
  740 :"��THATS ALL FOLKS!!!�"