Submitted By K2O (S.Richardson.) THE AMBULANCE DOWN IN THE VALLEY Twas a dangerous cliff as they freely confessed Tho to walk near its edge was quite pleasant But over the side slipped a duke and a prince And it had fooled many a peasant. The people all said something had to be done Tho their projects did not at all tally Some said put a fence round the edge of the cliff Others - an ambulance down in the valley. The lament of the crowd was profound and so loud As their hearts overflowed with great pity But the ambulance carried the cry of the day As it spread to the neighbouring cities. A collection was made to accumulate aid And dwellers in highway and alley Gave dollars and cents, not to furnish a fence But an ambulance down in the valley. For the cliff is alright if you're careful they said And if folks ever trip and are falling It's not the slipping and sliding that hurts So much as the shock when they're stopping. And so on for years as these mishaps occurred Quick forth would the rescuers sally To pick up the victims who fell from the cliff With the ambulance down in the valley. Said one in his plea, "It's a marvel to me That you give so much greater attention To repairing results than to curing the cause Why you'd much better aim at prevention. The mischief, of course, should be stopped at its source Come friends and good neighbours let's rally It makes far better sense to rely on a fence Than an ambulance down in the valley". He's wrong in the head the majority said He would end all our earnest endeavours He's the kind of a jerk that would halt our good work But we will support it forever. Don't we pick up them all just as quick as they fall And treat them with care quite liberally A superfluous fence is of no consequence If the ambulance works in the valley. Well this story is queer as I've given it here Tho things oft occur which are stranger More humane we assert to repair all the hurt Than the plan of removing the danger. Before it all ends, it's time to begin To attend to these things rationally Yes build up the fence and let us dispense With the ambulance down in the valley. ACTIVE MEMBERSHIP LIST. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ K8C Adams Arthur D4T Adams John K7T Ambrose D K1Q Aston John D3T Austin Dave K3D Bales Keith A2J Bebbington Andy K6F Bennet Mick K7L Birks Jim D3J Bishop Peter 138 Blundell Alan K2H Boyce Ronald R D4W Boyle Hugh K8B Brandon Andy K2U Brown David D2C Burgess Andy D3Y Carter R K6K Cawkwell G K6L Chamberlain Richard K3W Chilton Tom K6A Clapperton Ian A K3Q Clark T D4N Cleaver Dave K6X Clucas Paul D3H Colton David D4E Cooper J K8Y Copsey Bill K4V Crapper Trevor K2B Culpitt-Smith Colin K2F Davis John C A2L Davis Michael K2K Davy Peter K6Y Deacon Simon J D4J Debus Oliver 20G Dickens Roy K8D Dixon Bruce SUE Dodsworth Susan K5N Doran Stan J K4J Dronfield Chris K5Z Duff Bill K4F Dunn Brian D2E Dunnett Paul K4P Eedle Susan D3U Evans Byron K5P Fay Andrew K4W Firth Roy 3TR Fleming Mike 15A Flintham Steven K6H Fowl Leslie J K8W Fox Diane 4TK Frost Henry J D3K Gallagher Steve K5U Godfrey Simon D3F Green Mike D2K Grimes Alfred bob K3N Guiry Des K4A Hallam Kevin D2T Hamilton Jonathan K4N Hanson Steve K8G Harston Jonathan K1Y Harvey Paul 4G7 Hay J Renton K3J Hobday A C D4S Holmes Gilly D2B Hooper D D2N Horgan Victor J K5M Howell Ron K7K Jackson Sam K3Y Jenne Lorna D4B Johns Chris K2C Jones Frank D5A Jones Joe 3PM Pritchard Jones Derrick K2V Jowitt Bill D4M Kahan Zul K7E Kempner Stuart K7J Kilbride R K4D Knight Lorin K8X Lane G.Eric D2H Lavelle Terry D4P Lee Norma K4K Leng Graham K5W Lewis Chris J D4F Lindsay Bill K6E Lingwood Roger M L1M Looyenga Janny K2P Loveys D K2J Lowless David K4B Lynch George K5B MacGraw David J D3G Magee Chris D4L Magro Frank D4D Marshall David 4B2 Marshall Ron K2L Maslin Barry D3L Mason Steve D3P Mayers Pete I D3C McColl J.G. K7N McEllin Mike K3K Miles Alec K2X Mitchell Bill K5A Moffat Robin K4R Morom Robin K3F Morris Jacquetta K7A Morrissey Liam D4G Mosdell Robert 6EE Needham Mick 0E7 Nevin Fred K2Q Nicholson John D2R Olway John p A2K Ord Fred W A2D Parker SH D2G Parry Niel 3SQ Parsons Tim K3S Peck D T K3G Perry Michael K8U Pierson Vic K8J Pike Cyril 3WU Price Fred D3B Prochera Michael John D2Y Ratnett Paul K6N Raw B K2E Reeves Mick 7MR Rhodes Mick 2J3 Richardson Christopher J K2O Richardson Stephan D4A Richmond P J K4U Robbins Chris K6Q Roberts L T K5K Robinson David K7B Robson Jim A D4Y Rogers C.R. D4K Rogers Martin K6D Sanders Mick D2F Sargent James K3H Schofield Albert 1K1 Shakoor Abdus Sattar 483 Shimmin Daniel 176 Shuker Eric J D4R Simpson Barry D3N Smith Nigel L D4H Smith Paul K4C Smith Roger 8J4 Spender Charles R D3E Swann Peter K8P Tallowin Brian D2J Tate Jonathan D3D Thackeray Brian K7P Thomas Victor D4C Thompson Colin K6W Tilbrook Karl K2T Tourle Jack K3M Walker Derek A2H Walker Jamie K4E Walker Richard D3W Waters Peter D 105 Webster Duncan K6J Weir P G D2W Welsby S.Roger D2X White Ivan D3R Whitwell Tony K8T Willey Gordon R K2G Williamson Nigel K2I Wilson John 4WL Wilson Martin K8M York Michael John D3X Young Bryan J EDITED QUESTIONNAIRE RESULTS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Number of questionnaires analysed: 119 Question 2: Do you own an Acorn Electron? 0) No answer - 9 (7.56%) 1) Yes - 25 (21.01%) 2) No - 85 (71.43%) Question 3: Do you own a BBC Model A? 0) No answer - 9 (7.56%) 1) Yes - 1 (0.84%) 2) No - 109 (91.6%) Question 4: Do you own a BBC Model B? 0) No answer - 9 (7.56%) 1) Yes - 74 (62.18%) 2) No - 36 (30.25%) Question 5: Do you own a BBC Model B+? 0) No answer - 10 (8.4%) 1) Yes - 13 (10.92%) 2) No - 96 (80.67%) Question 6: Do you own a BBC Master 128? 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Yes - 57 (47.9%) 2) No - 54 (45.38%) Question 7: Do you own a BBC Master 512? 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Yes - 19 (15.97%) 2) No - 92 (77.31%) Question 8: Do you own a BBC Master Compact? 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Yes - 11 (9.24%) 2) No - 100 (84.03%) Question 9: Do you own an Archimedes? 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Yes - 10 (8.4%) 2) No - 101 (84.87%) Question 10: Do you have sideways RAM fitted? 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Yes - 84 (70.59%) 2) No - 27 (22.69%) Question 11: Do you have a second processor? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 36 (30.25%) 2) No - 76 (63.87%) Question 12: Do you have ADFS? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 69 (57.98%) 2) No - 43 (36.13%) Question 15: Do you use a 5.25" disc drive with your BBC/Master? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 106 (89.08%) 2) No - 6 (5.04%) Question 16: Do you use a 3.5" disc drive with your BBC/Master? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 29 (24.37%) 2) No - 83 (69.75%) Question 17: Do you use an 80 track disc drive with your BBC/Master? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 108 (90.76%) 2) No - 4 (3.36%) Question 18: Do you use a 40 track disc drive with your BBC/Master? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 62 (52.1%) 2) No - 50 (42.02%) Question 19: Do you use a double sided disc drive with your BBC/Master? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 105 (88.24%) 2) No - 7 (5.88%) Question 20: Do you use a twin disc drive with your BBC/Master? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 82 (68.91%) 2) No - 30 (25.21%) Question 21: Do you use a hard disc drive with your BBC/Master? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 12 (10.08%) 2) No - 100 (84.03%) Question 22: Do you use a colour monitor? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 81 (68.07%) 2) No - 31 (26.05%) Question 23: Do you use a monochrome monitor? 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Yes - 29 (24.37%) 2) No - 82 (68.91%) Question 24: Do you use a Colour TV? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 31 (26.05%) 2) No - 81 (68.07%) Question 25: Do you use a monochrome TV? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 4 (3.36%) 2) No - 108 (90.76%) Question 26: Do you use Econet? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 4 (3.36%) 2) No - 108 (90.76%) Question 27: What printer do you have? (COPY for none) Number of answers: 104 Question 28: Do you own a modem? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 22 (18.49%) 2) No - 90 (75.63%) Question 29: Do you own a mouse? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Yes - 54 (45.38%) 2) No - 58 (48.74%) Question 31: Which of these word processors do you prefer? 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Wordwise(+) - 22 (18.49%) 2) Interword - 27 (22.69%) 3) View - 43 (36.13%) 4) Edit - 4 (3.36%) 5) Pen and paper - 4 (3.36%) 6) None of these - 11 (9.24%) Question 32: What is your BASIC programming ability? 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Nothing that I can't do! - 3 (2.52%) 2) Handle most problems - 20 (16.81%) 3) Competent. Sometimes get stuck - 22 (18.49%) 4) Struggle but manage - 41 (34.45%) 5) Fail miserably - 20 (16.81%) 6) Don't try at all - 5 (4.2%) Question 33: What is your Machine code programming ability? 0) No answer - 7 (5.88%) 1) Nothing that I can't do! - 2 (1.68%) 2) Handle most problems - 3 (2.52%) 3) Competent. Sometimes get stuck - 8 (6.72%) 4) Struggle but manage - 16 (13.45%) 5) Fail miserably - 29 (24.37%) 6) Don't try at all - 54 (45.38%) Question 35: Magazine interest in Software 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 12 (10.08%) 2) High priority - 69 (57.98%) 3) Ok but not too important - 29 (24.37%) 4) No interest - 1 (0.84%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 36: Magazine interest in Utilities 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 14 (11.76%) 2) High priority - 84 (70.59%) 3) Ok but not too important - 13 (10.92%) 4) No interest - 0 (0%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 37: Magazine interest in Games 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 4 (3.36%) 2) High priority - 19 (15.97%) 3) Ok but not too important - 77 (64.71%) 4) No interest - 11 (9.24%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 38: Magazine interest in Music 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 8 (6.72%) 2) High priority - 18 (15.13%) 3) Ok but not too important - 57 (47.9%) 4) No interest - 27 (22.69%) 5) Object to it being included - 1 (0.84%) Question 39: Magazine interest in Educational 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 10 (8.4%) 2) High priority - 40 (33.61%) 3) Ok but not too important - 40 (33.61%) 4) No interest - 21 (17.65%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 40: Magazine interest in Graphics 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 6 (5.04%) 2) High priority - 44 (36.97%) 3) Ok but not too important - 52 (43.7%) 4) No interest - 9 (7.56%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 41: Magazine interest in Programming articles 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 11 (9.24%) 2) High priority - 58 (48.74%) 3) Ok but not too important - 38 (31.93%) 4) No interest - 4 (3.36%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 42: Magazine interest in Hardware articles 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 9 (7.56%) 2) High priority - 63 (52.94%) 3) Ok but not too important - 34 (28.57%) 4) No interest - 5 (4.2%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 43: Magazine interest in DIY hardware projects 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 10 (8.4%) 2) High priority - 42 (35.29%) 3) Ok but not too important - 45 (37.82%) 4) No interest - 14 (11.76%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 44: Magazine interest in Communications 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 8 (6.72%) 2) High priority - 25 (21.01%) 3) Ok but not too important - 49 (41.18%) 4) No interest - 29 (24.37%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 45: Magazine interest in Hints and Tips 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 24 (20.17%) 2) High priority - 76 (63.87%) 3) Ok but not too important - 11 (9.24%) 4) No interest - 0 (0%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 46: Magazine interest in Cheats 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 1 (0.84%) 2) High priority - 16 (13.45%) 3) Ok but not too important - 37 (31.09%) 4) No interest - 54 (45.38%) 5) Object to it being included - 3 (2.52%) Question 47: Magazine interest in General News 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 7 (5.88%) 2) High priority - 65 (54.62%) 3) Ok but not too important - 39 (32.77%) 4) No interest - 0 (0%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%) Question 48: Magazine interest in Messaging including adverts 0) No answer - 8 (6.72%) 1) Extremely high priority! - 18 (15.13%) 2) High priority - 80 (67.23%) 3) Ok but not too important - 13 (10.92%) 4) No interest - 0 (0%) 5) Object to it being included - 0 (0%)